Yesterday I picked S up after school and we stayed a few minutes to chat with one of his classmates. Their language development teacher walked past, and S smiled, waved and said "Tschüss (Bye bye), Herr S!"
And Herr S turned around and started shouting: "S, YOU HAVE GOT TO PRACTICE YOUR HANDWRITING! IT'S TERRIBLE! IF YOU DON'T IMPROVE IT YOU'RE NEVER GOING TO MAKE IT HERE!"
What the fuck is wrong with the teachers and principal at this school? There is something intrinsically wrong with a school system that has teachers so stressed out that they are aggressive with their students. I wouldn't speak to my dog that way!
S had just spent an hour in Herr S's class successfully memorizing and copying a poem in German. His behavior was fine. And rather than just returning the greeting Herr S chose to criticize S's handwriting!
It didn't seem to bother S at the time. We talked about it later and I told him that his progress in German is more important than his handwriting. That he should just do his best and that as long as it's legible that he shouldn't worry too much about it. And that Herr S must be a very unhappy person to react that way.
But inside I am still seething with anger. S is so malleable, so eager to please! Today he was really nervous while doing his homework, not because of verb conjugation or tricky declension, but because he was worried about his handwriting!
I had a parent-teacher conference last week. S's teacher seems to be finally accepting S as part of her class, albeit begrudgingly. Even so, she felt compelled to water down any praise she had with a little slice of negativity. "S is one of the best in the class in math BUT his desk is a mess." And although S had an almost perfect score for reading and high marks in dictation she chose to focus on the fact that he sometimes chats with his neighbor.
When I ask other (German) parents why, why, WHY are teachers here so hypercritical? Why does everyone silently condone this pervasive negativity? They just shrug their shoulders and say: "We don't know. That's just the way it is. Be happy with Frau K, because it could be so much worse!"
All of our other experiences in Germany so far have been extremely positive. But school is such an important part of our lives and there are so many challenges there I feel completely helpless.
There don't seem to be any viable alternatives out there, so we're stuck with what we've got for now. I guess the only thing I can do is keep hugging S and try to keep him positive. And hope that we all come out of this stronger...
8 comments:
It must be so fustrating when you feel unable to change what is completely wrong!! And I can understand that even if you found another school it's not easy just to tear your lovely boy away from their current friends and place him in yet a new enviroment.
Isn't there are higher school authority (regional or national) in charge of the educational system you could write to? Or are all the schools and teachers the same, including the people in the authorities?
Stay positive Betsy! :-)
M and I have thought about going higher up, but I don't know how successful we would be since we don't have anything concrete to complain about. Unfortunately it's not a crime to scream at your students. (although it should be!)
And I know from other parents that the principal is unwilling or unable to help in situations like this.
The good news is that in spite of everything S seems to be pretty comfortable in his own skin lately. His German has improved remarkably and that helps. He's also making friends, and that helps.
And M keeps reminding me of that old adage: "What doesn't kill us makes us stronger".
I'm hoping that we can keep S positive and open by being warm and nurturing at home. (That, and keeping my fingers crossed for good luck...)
Yep, just keep doing what you're doing and he'll be fine. I think sometimes the kids don't take all that yelling the same way we do. And I doubt going higher up would do anything at all. The principal at our elementary school was totally wishy washy and wasn't prepared to step in on matters like this either and there's really nothing they can do anyway. Teachers in Germany are civil servants and it's almost impossible to get rid of them. That's why there are so many lousy ones still teaching, unfortunately
It's too bad the teachers act like that. You're doing a good job building S up at home. But it would be nice to know how to work for change in the system! Hate to think of all those little kids dealing with criticism, especially the super sensitive ones. I'm glad S feels "comfortable in his own skin."
You are just so NICE! I think I would have given that teacher a piece of my mind! Calmly and diplomatically, of course, but GEEEEEZE!
It would be really nice to get a teacher or adminisrator on your side. Do you know any very well?
Hang in there!
Carol
Trying to remember my own school years I think how my peers treated me was more important than my teachers. Since he's making friends, that'll probably go a long way. But I sure do hear a lot of complaints about the German schools. (I hear more and more about the Swiss schools too, and more about the fellow students than the teachers.) Keep boosting him at home - I have to beleive that matters a lot.
I have to tell you, teachers here in N/A are no different. Some of them shouldn't even come near children. Just luck of the draw I guess...ciao
We don't need your ed-yooo-kation...Afterall, you're just another brick in the WALL.
TEACHER, LEAVE THAT KID ALONE!
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