Pitfalls in the German school system

Recently on the way to school S started crying. "I've got to go to the bathroom but I am afraid to! A couple of times when I've been on the toilet some other kids have taken the key and locked me in there-- and then I got into trouble with my teacher for not coming back to class right away!"

So when we got to school I went with him to the restrooms and waited outside the door until he was finished. He was so relieved afterwards that he gave me a big hug and said "Thank you for waiting, mama." And he was so earnest and grateful that it broke my heart.

I don't get the feeling that S is being singled out. These kind of things happen at random and are not caught because there is no supervision in the halls in the mornings or on the playground during recess. I've had more than one parent tell me how helpless they feel because their first graders are being terrorized during breaks, coming home with scratches, bruises and hair-raising stories. It's apparently a sport for fourth graders to attack random first graders! And the parents go to the school director who promises to take action, but the situation doesn't change.

I am having a hard time understanding the aggressive atmosphere that seems to pervade school life here. The teachers, stressed out to the max by large, rowdy classes, end up taking out their frustrations on the children. S's screaming teacher is not an exception to the rule-- that kind of behavior is apparently tolerated here and is even considered normal!

And when teachers are hostile toward their students is it any wonder that the children are, in turn, aggressive with each other?

I'd considered the possibility of changing schools but have heard from other parents that the situation is no better in other places. There is a private school near here that has an excellent reputation. There's just one problem: because so many desperate parents have started yanking their kids out of our public school and enrolling them in the private one, the classes are now stretched to the limit and similar situations are occurring.

And there's an additional problem that I'm starting to notice here. The German school system is set up in a way that the children have shorter school days. They get home at lunchtime and then continue their schoolwork at home in the form of homework. Which puts the onus on the mother for a sizeable chunk of the child's education. (A friend from Michigan laughed when I told her this and said "So basically you're homeschooling?" which really isn't that far from the truth!)

I am very lucky in that I am well off enough to be able to afford to stay home and guide S in his homework. I am also well-educated and am far enough along with my German that I can actually help him when he needs it. But not everyone has these advantages. In this way the system actually discriminates against the students who need the most help and ensures that they will lag behind their peers.

In spite of the odds S is adjusting to school here and seems to have found some sort of fragile equilibrium with his teacher. But I can't help but wonder about the future of a generation that is being socialized in this kind of environment.