23 November, 2006

Integration Schmintigration

S continues to have problems with his teacher. Tuesday he came home in tears and had a complete meltdown. Apparently he'd forgotten to do part of his homework assignment and she humiliated him in front of the class!

Went in to talk to her yesterday-- said I didn't know what happened in class on Tuesday but that he was extremely upset when he got home. That he's a pleaser by nature and that when she acts aggressively it really upsets him. That he's very afraid of her and that I felt it was important that she is aware of this.

She actually apologized for shouting at him-- said she'd been stressed out and that she might have overreacted. We talked about ways that we might improve the situation. And then she did her usual maneuver and sidestepped by asking about our dog.

When I said I didn't have her with me because I'd come straight from my German language / integration classes she responded:

"What? But your German is GREAT! I thought those classes were only for Russians and Africans and not for people like you!"

?????!!!!!!!!!! WTF?

I was so offended by this comment on so many levels!
  1. Why does she automatically assume that "people like me" don't have to make an effort to integrate?!
  2. I have a hard time understanding how a German could be disparaging towards people (from any country!) who are willing to spend 24 hours a week studying the language (plus homework) in order to better integrate themselves into society here!
  3. I was embarrassed and insulted on behalf of the Russian woman in my class who speaks much better German than I do and who probably has had to work a lot harder to achieve this than I have since she didn't have Dutch as a basis to start with.
  4. And on top of it all I'm really annoyed by the fact that S's teacher was trying to manipulate me, thinking that if she flatters me that I'll overlook the fact that she's undermining my child's confidence and thirst for learning!
I'm getting angry again even just writing this. Think I'm going to close for now-- have some homework to do so that I can continue to integrate... :-P

7 comments:

Goofball said...

woohoo thanx for adding my blog in your list. I feel very honored!

Brit Kim said...

S will probably grow up to become head of UN or start his own movement for children's rights! thanks to this teacher ;p) scary to think how she'd behave towards my 'not yet arrived' children - with their Asian looks..

Carol said...

I'm fuming just READING this!!

And a side of me is very embarrassed because I can hear my mom saying this... :-/

Carol

Anonymous said...

Makes me want to come over and break her kneecaps. ;-)

christina said...

Ugh. Yeah, I've had this happen quite often too and I do NOT like it. People (including my not-so-beloved father-in-law on occasion) will start insulting the "Ausländer" and I'll give them "the look" and they'll suddenly get it and say "Oh! But YOU'RE not considered a foreigner. We're talking about those OTHER people." Sheesh. I hate that.

swissmiss said...

It happens in Switzerland too. I'm not *really* a foreigner - foreigners are those *other* people. You know, darker or with names that end in -ovic. Grrr.

swissmiss said...

Oh, and I meant to say, every German class I've ever taken the best student in the class has always far and away been a native Russian-speaking woman. I think they're helped by having a similar - in fact more difficult - declention system, but also I can get away with using English in so much of my life if I have to - my pediatrician, physician, OBGYN etc all speak English if I need them too. I know that I can fall back on it and so I don't have the sink or swim need for German that somebody with a less common native tongue must have. I've often thought my German would be better if my native tongue was less common than English.