Venturing into the world of petty crime

I just got back from the grocery store. For the second time today.

The first time I got there and realized I'd forgotten my list. And with M away I need to shop for the whole week because I can't handle more than one trip with the kids in tow. That ranks right up there with all sorts of cruel and unusual punishment which were banned by the Geneva Convention.

So I had no choice but to drive home and back. I guess I left my brain at home the second trip as well because I was totally spacey-- had to visit some aisles three times before I got everything I needed.

Finally made it to the cash register and started unloading everything-- only to realize that I'd forgotten milk, which we really can't live without. AARRGGG! Hastily piled the stuff back into my cart, pushed through the line and raced to the dairy section and back.

Unloaded the cart for a second time and while I was waiting for the cashier I slipped my hands into my jacket pockets. And pulled out TWO PACKS OF GUM which I'd apparently stuffed in there in my haste to go back and get the milk I'd forgotten. !!!???

How pathetic would that have been if I'd been busted for shoplifting gum!? No telling how many people behind me in line saw me do it-- I can just see me trying to explain it to store management: "I SWEAR I have no idea how that got in my pockets!" or maybe "I was just keeping it warm until I paid for it."

Let's hope that the next time I'm being ditzy and stealing stuff that I do it with high-ticket items, like flat screen televisions...