Faux Pas

We were having lunch this afternoon when a couple came in with a small, wiggly dog with a pug-nose and pointy ears. S, B and I went over to admire him and I said: "Wow, he's cute! Is that a Boston Bull terrier?"

The owner could barely hide his disgust: "What?! NO! It's a French Bull terrier!" :-D

More pictures!

Today we took a hike between Castellet and Auribeau, two small villages near here where M and his family spent many happy summers. The whole area is so picturesque and the weather was sunny and beautiful!

We were pretty deep into the woods when S picked up a rock and uncovered a nest of scorpions! then B discovered an evil red-juice-spitting beetle. The rest of the walk was interesting, but not completely for all the right reasons. ;-)

Lunar landscape (with sheep)

Today I hiked part of the top of the Mont Ventoux again with the kids and the dog. Had a couple of nervewracking moments when one of them stepped (or peed) too close to the edge, but otherwise it went great and we had a really nice afternoon. Here is the photographic evidence, documented by S.

Le sun! Les grapes! Le vin!

Roussillon

Today we visited Roussillon, a quaint little town nearby, which is famous for its ochre mines. Spent about an hour hiking through the woods and marveling at the gorgeous variety of vibrant color in the cliffs and trails. Then we had coffee and ice cream and came back to the campsite so that the boys can swim.

This afternoon Oma and I will hit the supermarket-- there's been a disaster here: we've run out of peanut butter! I can now sympathize with rehab patients and their withdrawal pains! Hope to get lucky-- there are so many Dutch and American tourists in this area, and that usually means PEANUT BUTTER! Please keep your fingers crossed and send some good vibes my way! ;-)

Hustlin'

We’re back in the Provence; this time I’m camping with the kids and Michiel’s parents. I wanted to jump on Internet to fart around follow intellectual pursuits. The campground has a wifi router and guests can buy access in increments of 1 hour, 1 day, etc.

I just told the woman at reception that I’d like to buy 24 hour access. She handed me a card with the rates printed on it and said that I can just buy it directly over Internet. (Right, like I’m about to give my credit card information over a public server!) Knowing it's also possible to pay with cash, I smiled sweetly, waved 10 Euros at her and said in my very best French:

Mais non, je préfére acheter vous! ( Which means approximately: No thanks, I’d rather buy you.)

Niiiiiiiiiiccccceee. I haven’t even been here 24 hours and I’m already puttin’ the moves on the staff!

Say what?!

Me: OK guys, you've *got* to get your hair cut! I've made an appointment for you for this afternoon. How do you want them to do your hair?

B.: I want mine long.

Me: OK B, but last time you weren't happy with what you got. Maybe you should bring a picture of the haircut you want so that the stylist knows what you like. Whose hair do you like?

B.: Gaddafi's.

**Follow-up: In the end he decided to get it cut shorter so that it doesn't get in his eyes at the pool this week. His hair turned out great, just for GOD'S SAKE, please don't tell him it looks "just like Justin Bieber"! ;-)

Tomorrow we'll wrestle some crocodiles

Earlier this week we took out S's stitches using kitchen shears at the breakfast table. Today we hiked the top of Mont Ventoux! We are so manly! Just like Ernest Hemingway! (the only thing missing is the scotch. and the hangovers. usually...)

Hello from sunny Provence!

Well we finally made it to the Provence. Left a day later than planned, but that turned out fine because it meant that we had plenty of time to do the things that are normally last minute and our departure was relatively relaxed.

S's knee has healed up nicely. We took the stitches out right here on the campground yesterday: just propped his leg up on the table amongst the breakfast dishes and cut them out with the a pair of kitchen shears. Now there's a vacation memory we'll never forget! :-)

Took a tour of an old coal mine in Alès yesterday. It was fascinating, and the kids were really impressed by the horrendous conditions under which the miners (and their families) had to work over the years. This provided yet another convincing opportunity to remind them why it's so important to get a good education.

S has now had a year of French in school, so it's been a treat for him to be able to interact with kids here on the playground and try out his vocabulary. It's taken him a lot more effort to learn than he'd expected, so it's nice for him to be able to have fun with it here and see that his lessons, however dry, really are useful.

S and B have spent the past couple of days working through a French Donald Duck comic book; I'm wrestling with a Russian health magazine and M is reading a German camping magazine. We're all leaning waaaaaaay out of our comfort zone, but that's a good thing to do while stretched out in lawn chairs in the shade with a cool drink and a happy, lazy dog! :-)

Life with Boyz

The last 24 hours have been a little more "interesting" than are good for me. B dislocated his shoulder playing soccer yesterday evening. M, who was watching them play, called me and asked me to hurry down because Bram's shoulder looked "suspicious". By the time I got there it had popped back in and he was feeling better. Iced it down, gave him Ibuprofen, and after a sleepless night (mine, not his!) everything seems to be on the mend.

Then this afternoon S fell off of his bike out at the skateboard park. B called to tell me that it was bleeding and deep enough that you could "see something white" in the wound. Niiiiiice. 3 hours, one pediatrician, one surgeon and 3 stitches later and we're back home. We've got a follow-up appointment with the doctor at 8:45 am tomorrow morning. (We had planned to leave to drive to the Provence at 6am.)

I think I've had enough drama to last me for a while, thank you...

Bosnia and Herzegovina

I almost forgot to blog about my trip in July to Bosnia! And old friend got married in Sarajevo and I was lucky enough to be able to attend the wedding and its festivities. Friends of the bride and groom traveled from all around Europe and it was a lively group-- I reconnected with old friends and colleagues and met some really fantastic people! We spent the weekend exploring Sarajevo and took a day trip to Mostar. There is so much history there, some of it so tragic, but all of it extremely interesting. I had a great time and am so happy to have been able to go!

Linguistic goofs

Last week I wanted to tell someone in German that we bought our dog back in 2004, but I accidentally used the Dutch verb (gekocht) and proudly announced that we "boiled" her when she was only 8 weeks old.

The other day my brain short-circuited while I was switching back and forth between Dutch and German. I told one person that a boat crashed into some rocks and sank. Turned immediately after that to a German and repeated the sentence in German, but used the Dutch word for rocks, but that actually means "snot" in German. Talk about a maritime tragedy!

FINALLY!

After a whole lotta bumbling I've finally earned a yellow belt in Aikido!!!

Could have been Deepthroat for all I know...

There's a sleepover tonite at our house and the kids chose a film where parental guidance is suggested. M decided to watch it along with them, but he's had a rough week and I already knew beforehand that he wouldn't make it all the way through.

When the film ended he came downstairs and helped get the kids ready for bed. He stretched, smiled and said: "OK, now it's time for me to sleep further."

"Really? You didn't end up watching the film at all, did you?"

"I'm afraid not."

I gasped in mock horror: "What if there were SEX SCENES in it?!!!"

"Well, they didn't keep me awake if there were..."

Half relaxed, half TOTALLY NOT!

We're finishing up a 2 week camping trip. We spent the first week in Marseillan on the French coast and now we're here on our favorite spot on Lake Garda. On the whole it's been a nice vacation, but the boys have been spending time with friends on both campgrounds and haven't wanted to leave, so we've spent an inordinate amount of time hanging out under trees, reading books and staring out at the water. And that's fine for a while, but now I"m feeling itchy and restless and really, really, REALLY need to get off of this campground before I snap. Anyone want to bust out with me?

**I've got plenty of nice things to write about the last two weeks as well, but I'd better do that at a moment when I can actually sit STILL...

A hike-- and a show!

This week we're camping in Marseillan Plage, at a campground which is right on the beach. I'm long past the days when I enjoyed baking in the sun, and spend my afternoons reading in the shade instead. I've been getting up early every morning, though, to take a couple km hike with D up the beach to a nearby pier, and it's been fantastic! I'd forgotten how much I love the smells and sounds of the sea, the feeling of the cool water and the soft sand under my feet!

My first day out was especially astonishing! I couldn't believe the empty expanses of the coastline, the small crabs scuttling about, and the really ancient guy who somehow managed to stay way ahead of me, despite his advanced years and his deceptively shuffling gate. As I got closer I was a little surprised too at his saggy flesh-colored bathing suit.

Hey wait a minute-- that isn't a bathing suit, those are his bare buttocks! ???!!!

Upon closer inspection I realized that he was buck naked!

When I finally managed to pass him him, he nodded serenely and I returned his greeting. Within a couple more minutes another elderly person passed walking in the opposite direction. He'd remembered to clothe himself... in a canary-yellow thong bikini! He waved and shouted something jovial to me in French-- I think it had to do with D being faster than he is since she has 4 legs and he's only got 2.

The next geriatric fellow was sans lingerie, but had at least remembered to put on his cock-ring before leaving his campsite. Thank goodness! (Can I even say that word on the Internets? I have a feeling that now my search term hits from Google are about to go through the roof!)

The further I got down the beach, the more bizarre my walk became-- I passed a bronzed, surprisingly well-muscled septugenarian who was competely immersed in Tai Chi, and another happy guy playing a clarinet in the buff in the dunes; a couple of women who must have been sisters who were talking simultaneously nonstop, and a woman who'd seen fit to shave her dog, which gave the illusion that he was just as naked as she was!

Turns out our campground is right on the edge of a nudist vacation village! Ha! I haven't had this much fun people watching since Carnevale!

Communicating on two totally different wavelengths

B has been coughing for a couple of days. It sounds awful-- he'll empty his lungs of air and then continue to sputter and gag until tears stream from his eyes and his face turns an alarming shade of scarlet. I have a sneaking suspicion that this doesn't happen when he's alone, though, if you catch my drift, so I'm not overly worried.

Today we were exploring Barcelona when he suddenly had another attack. At the next opportunity we ducked into a pharmacy.

The pharmacist smiled and greeted us in Spanish.

"Hi" I tried in English and pointed at B. "He's coughing." And I fake coughed helpfully to illustrate my point.

"How old is he?"

This caught me off guard. "What?! Nine?" I turned to B "You're nine, right?"

He nodded, smiling, looking relaxed, tan, and perfectly healthy. I turned back to the pharmacist. "Do you have any cough drops?"

He disappeared and then returned a few minutes later with a bottle. "This are the drops for the coughing."

I don't recognize the active ingredient, so I decide to try again. "Ha, no sorry, I don't mean those kinds of drops, I mean something to suck on."

"He is too young."

"What?! No, I mean a lozenge! UNE SUCETTE! To suck on!"

"He is too young. Maybe some water?"

I gave up. Smiled, thanked him, took B's hand and left. On the way out the door a rack caught my eye. It was stacked with 5 different kinds of Hall's cough drops...

Oooooppppsssssssss! part 2

Yesterday I was chatting with some new neighbors and told them M and I would liquidate each other if necessary on the ride down to France.

You should have seen the looks on their faces!

I'd blanked out on the German verb used when two people switch off to relieve each other when driving, doing shift work, etc, so I just jimmy-rigged the Dutch word, slapped a German accent on it, and VOILA! Instant consternation!

The problem is that in these situations it's often too complicated to explain how I came up with such a glaring error in the first place, so I often don't even try anymore. Maybe it's not a bad think if the neighbors think I have a sinister side-- might come in handy when I go over to talk to them about trimming their hedges... (Mwahahahaaaaaa!)

Oooooppppsssssssss!

I just got an email from M with this as the subject line:

"Marseille, or Marseillan Plage, same difference..."

We've had plans for months now to go camping for a week with friends at one of their favorite haunts. This morning I mailed the address to M so that we can plug it into the GPS and not just drive around and hope we get lucky and find the campground on the first try. Turns out this is a good thing, because the campground is NOWHERE NEAR to Marseille, which is where I've been telling everyone we were going all this time! And we'd even made plans to visit my brother and sister in law who will be camping "nearby". Whoops! Big blunder!

I sent a reply back saying: "Whoops. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!" and M replied that I might want to put the vodka away. I'm glad he's got a sense of humor, or I would have been snuffed out long ago! ;-)

Blood and Roses

Does anyone else remember this song by the Smithereens? Brings back all kinds of great memories-- I'm going to have to go dig that CD out of storage and play it this weekend. (really LOUD! ;-) )

Blood: A brand new playground paradise has been built near our house. Along with the usual slides and swings, it's also got interesting stuff for older kids, like a skateboard park, bmx track, zip lines and a climbing wall. S and B have been spending a lot of time down there and come back looking the way boys should look: sweaty, dirty, and with impressive scrapes that they can show off to all their friends...

Roses: My new garden is GORGEOUS! A friend called it a "botanical paradise", which on the one hand is fantastic, but on the other is a big responsibility! I'm so afraid of doing something wrong and screwing up 25 years worth of loving care!

In any case, for the first time in my life I'm interested in flowers and regularly bring them in for fresh bouquets on the dining room table. This week the roses started blooming. I must have 15 different kinds out there and every day it's a surprise what color / form will bloom next! What a treat!

And now, for your viewing pleasure, to fit in with today's theme, here's the Smithereen's slightly shallow but no less kick-ass song, Blood and Roses. :-)