27 July, 2007

I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried!

We were on our way out the door to the birthday party from hell when I suddenly realized that I'd forgotten to pack an extra tampon in my bag. I ran back inside, grabbed one and raced back out to the car.

Murphy's Mothers' Law states that anything that one might try to hide in one's hand actually elicits more attention and curiosity than if one had stapled it directly to one's forehead.

What's that?

Oh, nothing important.

No really! What is it?


So that's how it happened that our journey to birthday hell was paved by yet another lesson in reproduction.

The questions came thick and fast:
How do you know when it's going to happen?
You're serious?! This happens every month???
Do you think neighbor so-and-so still gets her period?

etc, etc, etc...

I answered each question in its turn. And, as usual I reminded them that this is not a topic to be discussed with anyone outside of our immediate family.

No problem. Thankfully we arrived at the party and they were distracted from their fascination of lunar cycles and focused instead on pizza and ice cream.

Everything was fine. Until we were in the middle of the woods with a crowd of people and B suddenly shouted over to me:

Hey Mama! Did you remember to bring that thing you need to stick into your vagina?


Goofball said...

oh gosh...I wrongly swallowed some food when reading that!

Africakid said...

Oh no! What I want to know is, how did you answer? And did you then slink away? Very funny.

Betsy said...

Well the first split second I wasn't sure if I was going to burst out laughing or melt into a small greasy puddle of mortification.

I just walked over and whispered to him that, yes, I'd remembered it, but didn't he remember what I'd said about it being a private subject.

We talked about it again later and he said "I promise not to try to forget that again."

Which was yet something else to laugh about after I finally got him in bed.

I had so many stories to tell M by the time he finally got home that I think I talked nonstop for an hour straight...

Anonymous said...

Yeah, don't they say men speak 1000 works a day and women 7000! After a day like that, I'd ditto that. ha ha...Lurking Lisa

Jenn in Holland said...

hahahahaha! I had a feeling that was coming and still I wasn't fully prepared for the punch!
I also loved the line about Murphy's Mother's Law. so true.