29 July, 2006

Houston, we have liftoff!

We now have internet at home!!! Fabulous!

After a three-week hiatus I seem to have worked my way through the worst of the symptoms while trying to kick my internet addiction, though. No longer shake uncontrollably and can now see straight for short periods of time. Am going to try to start back in a more controlled way.

Don't know who I'm kidding, though, we all know I'm going to end up right back in the gutter again-- some days I can completely relate to the characters from Trainspotting...

M has finally finished up his marathon three-weeks'-worth of meetings. Which means we might actually start seeing him again on a regular basis. It would be nice to have an adult around to talk to. I mean other than the dog, of course...

So my quest to make a name for myself as the neighborhood crazy continues. S and B have somehow obtained inside information that there's a British family living on our street. Have no idea how they know this, but it's good news since I am becoming desperate to meet someone that I can talk to using a vocabulary larger than 30 (mangled) words! I've instructed them that the next time they run into these people that they should ask them where they live so that I can go introduce myself.

And then yesterday, destiny struck! We were on the way out the door when a woman walked by with her daughter. They were carrying a gym bag and were obviously in a hurry. For some reason I was struck dumb while my kids danced around me pointing and making meaningful hand gestures. In my panic I froze and then did the most intelligent thing that came to mind-- I sent B to run after them and introduce himself.

So my brand-new best friend had reached the end of the street when I saw B catch up with her. They stood there for a while, and then they all turned around and stared at me, and, sensing a lull in the conversation I waved for B to come back.

He arrived panting, but beaming with pride at the importance of his mission. After a long and confusing grilling I got the following summary of the conversation:

B: Asks them IN GERMAN if they speak English
Victims: Yes. Why? Do you?
B: Uh. (This is his new clever way of answering in the affirmative. Kind of his own private joke, but nobody else gets it.)
Victims: Oh. (Pause) It's very hot today, isn't it?
B: Uh.
Victims: Do you REALLY speak English?
B: Uh.
Victims: Ummm, we've got to go.
B: (turns and sees me waving him back home like a GREAT BIG RETARD!) OK, Bye.

I'm afraid that at some point I'm going to have to adopt some sort of costume before I leave the house. Am considering investing in a false moustache and some Groucho Marx glasses...

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