Formal acknowledgement of lunacy

Open letter to those present at the Kinderparadijs playground 02 April

Dear fellow parents:

I'm sure you'll remember me from the playground yesterday. Or rather, you probably won't have noticed me, but my children will definitely not have escaped your attention. I feel compelled to offer up an explanation.

My sons were the ones running around looking like third-world refugees. And yes, I realize that they broke every fashion rule ever written and that they probably offended your sensibilities.

I don't know what I was thinking when I sent them upstairs yesterday with the request to dress themselves.

Chalk it up to exhaustion. Chalk it up to distraction. In any case, I formally apologise.

It seems that my oldest son dressed himself in some sort of nostalgic haze. Don't ask me where he found those sweatpants, and yes, I do realize they were two sizes too small and that they didn't match his teeny tiny sweatshirt.

I can only assume the lights were off and that my youngest has been nipping at our vodka. Why else would he have chosen to wear a light blue shirt with orange sweatpants and rainbow colored Bob the Builder socks?

Oh yeah, and I can explain the bloody nose as well. See, I just turned my head for a second and one of them got a little too enthusiastic pushing the other one on the see saw.

When you contact children's services please be sure to tell them I actually remembered to brush their teeth that morning. And that they may have looked like loonies but that they had a great time.

I'm thinking it's their mother that might need to be placed in a foster home...