I was cooking lunch when S arrived home from school in a bit of a rowdy mood.
Me: are you home already?
S: Physically yes, but my heart is at school.
Me: *groan* Seriously?
S: Yes. I live for school.
Me: OK, that's definitely enough. I need you to stop.
S: When I'm away from there I start to feel...
And then I threw the rest of my glass of iced tea in his face. (I don't know who was more shocked, S, or me because it wasn't planned and I never do that kind of thing.)
S: *What* was that?
Me: My BS meter, kid. It can only take so much...
S: (turns on the sink.) Hmm. Let me wash this off. Oh wow, that's cold---
and then he threw a handful of water on me.
Just then one of B's friends walked in and said: What is going on here?
S: Ugh! She's cooking and she's all sweaty! Look at those sweat stains!
S: Gross. That definitely does *not* belong in the kitchen...