17 December, 2007

First Britney, then Lindsay, now the fat man...

Small-town Germany is reeling from reports that Santa Claus has hit rock bottom.

Herr Doktor Claus has been allegedly battling an addiction to pain medication prescribed for a back injury sustained in a drunken sleighing accident last Christmas.

Since splitting from Mrs. Claus earlier this year, Santa has lived on the streets as a vagrant. The sacks in which he once carried toys now house the few worldly possessions he has left.

As evidenced in this photo, Santa has also been neglecting his reindeer. A spokesperson for the local police force has confirmed that the once-jolly saint will be officially charged with two counts of animal cruelty, loitering and a handful of additional misdemeanors.

Santa has been taken into court custody and will be ordered into rehabilitation at an undisclosed location.

6 comments:

Greg said...

I would imagine that one of the misdemeanors with which he'll be charged is trespassing!

Betsy said...

That and disorderly conduct. He's a nasty drunk...

anno said...

And Britney and Lindsay aren't???

At least Santa works for a living...

Goofball said...

Ho ho ho

Anonymous said...

You had me laughing at the first sentence. Love the photo, it fits perfectly. Ha ha ha, ho ho ho

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

I'm glad I read this post second! Now I'm smiling again. But ya know... it's more of that European Hooliganism...