03 November, 2009

Oh shit!: the sequel

(Note: This is a follow-up to yesterday's post. If you haven't seen that one yet you might want to read it first.)

"Hey S, do you know what happened to those condoms and the wrappers?"

It's the crack of dawn and S is wrapped up in a blanket on the sofa waiting for breakfast. He nods sleepily, crawls under the sofa and drags out a box of condoms and two wrappers and I feel relief flood through my body.

And then the humor of the situation hits me and I start giggling like a maniac.

Yesterday could have been so much worse. The poop? On the landlord's shoe? That was only the tip of our slumdog iceberg here! At least when he walked in the door S had the good sense to hide the goods and throw out the unrolled, slightly rumpled condoms that were lying on the dining room table amidst the Halloween candy wrappers and school books!

OK, I guess I should backtrack here:

S came home from school yesterday wanting to know what a condom is. Someone had made a joke about one and he had only a vague idea that it was something bad or dirty. So I gave S and B an in-depth explanation about birth control and disease prevention and I even brought out a box of condoms and gave them a couple so that they could unwrap them and see what they really look like.

There were a couple of remarks that had me stifling a nervous laugh: "Wait?! This is supposed to fit around my penis?! It's HUGE!??"

Afterwards of course they blew them up like balloons and let them fly around the room. I asked them to clean it all up and get back to their homework. When I left the room they were laughing about a greasy smudge the lubricant had left on the dining room window.

Shortly after that the landlord arrived....

Move over, Clark Griswold, you've met your match!

6 comments:

soccer mom in denial said...

Oh. My. Goodness!! You are a mama after my heart. That is EXACTLY what I plan to do with condoms when the time comes to explain them to my kids.

I co-teach a comprehensive relationship and sexuality class for middle school students at church and two weeks ago we covered contraceptives including the proper rolling of condoms. Much "ewwwws" and "yuck" were exclaimed but it was probably the most important lesson we teach.

Betsy said...

Thanks! It actually went a lot more smoothly than I'd expected. And since I was pretty relaxed about the whole thing they were too.

There may have been a lot of "ewws" in your class, but it's so important that they get that information! How great that you're teaching that class!

Jennifer said...

Awesome mama instincts.

I love the "but it's huge!" comment. My 4.5 year old just asked me why his penis sometimes gets big and then isn't big anymore. I'm ashamed to say my answer was "I don't know. I don't have a penis. You'll have to ask your Dada."

Jen of A2eatwrite said...

This sounds like my house. Knew there was a reason I liked you. It must have been our Soviet corruption phase. ;-)

Goofball said...

too funny :)

Africakid said...

Ha, if only the landlord knew what he'd missed! Personally, I like the balloons flying around the dining room.

Good job telling your boys about life in a straightforward way!