have to start writing my letters on stone tablets

My internet connection has been turned off. After speaking to (and eventually screaming at) 5 different customer service zombies at 1&1 it seems they're punishing me for taking back the EUR600 that I'm contesting. And they will continue to charge me for an Internet connection that I am not receiving until I just admit that they were right and give back the money they've effectively stolen from me. (Over my dead body.)

And then I spent the rest of the afternoon here with the police. Some special IT detective unit from the area-- apparently someone else in the neighborhood has had a separate modem-hacking issue and they're trying to see if it's related.

And I was only to happy to provide bills and information and funny stories. They were very friendly and receptive but it's just now occurring to me that they might have just been playing "good cop". Lulling me into a false sense of security or something before they tackle me in a parking lot and cuff me like they do on "Cops". ;-)

I'm joking, of course, but it doesn't seem all that far fetched at the moment. Yesterday the kids got an empty syringe from the doctor so they could squirt water in the bath. I only discovered it AFTER the police had left, even though it was sitting out on the table where they'd filled out their forms.

And they were also curious about why I'd locked the dog up before they came. I tried to explain that it was only so she wouldn't lick them to death but I'm not sure they bought it.

They also asked why the kids were drinking Dutch milk and eating American Cereal. (which was a complete fluke-- almost all of our other groceries are, of course, German...)

So they probably think I'm a junkie rotweiler breeder who is pathalogically afraid of local produce. I'm probably going to be fodder for all kinds of stories down at the police station.

On a whole the experience was extremely positive, though. They were able to give me advice on some next steps and said they'd be in touch. In the meantime I'm Internet-less, though. And it could be a while unless we can get out of our contract quickly, because even though 1&1 has turned off our connection they are trying to convince us to pay them monthly bills through July 2008. (???!!!)

So my blogging may be patchy for a while. Hope to be back up in the saddle again soon! In the meantime I'll be practicing my penmanship and warning anyone who will listen that if they see an 1&1 customer service zombie they should turn tail and run like the wind.