Need a laugh?

Still don't have jack to say in the virtual realm. But I guess I should at least be happy that I haven't lost my sense of humor in the real one!

I "stumbled" across this list of Steven Wright's one liners and they cracked me up! Here are a few great ones for your reading pleasure:

• Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.
• Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.
• If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
• Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it?
• Since light travels faster than sound, isn't that why some people appear bright until you hear them speak?
• How come abbreviated is such a long word?
• Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?
• What would a chair look like if your knees bent the otherway?
• When two airplanes almost collide why do they call it a near miss? It sounds like a near hit to me!!
• Why are there 5 syllables in the word "monosyllabic"?
• Why do they call it the Department of Interior when they are in charge of everything outdoors?
• If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?
• When I erase a word with a pencil, where does it go?
• Why is it lemon juice contains mostly artificial ingredients, but dishwashing liquid contains real lemons?
• Why buy a product that it takes 2000 flushes to get rid of?
• Do Roman paramedics refer to IV's as "4's"?
• What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?
• Is boneless chicken considered to be an invertebrate?

There are plenty more where these came from. I wish I had a portal into Steven Wright's head, but this evening I just settled for (and enjoyed) the list at this person's site...